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[Grey's Anatomy] - Sometimes we have to make sacrifices (Wettbewerbsbeitrag)

Summer_Breeze

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6 Februar 2006
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Seattle Grace
Wettbewerbsbeitrag in Runde #17 "A kiss under the misteltoe"

Serie: Grey's Anatomy
Titel: Sometimes we have to make sacrifices
Vorgabe: A kiss under the misteltoe
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.. ;)
Pairing: Meredith / Derek
Spoiler: die FF findet vor der Folge 2.12 "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" statt
Wörter: 2100



“A Christmas party?” Cristina asked , “it’s a joke, isn’t it?”
“Why should that be a joke? I think it’s a great idea” Izzie said and smiled.
“Yeah, I was thinking that our five-years-old princess would like that idea” Cristina was looking at me and smirked
“Meredith, don’t you think it’s a great idea? It’s Christmas, the time of love” Izzie was looking at me too and I think I saw hope in her eyes, that I would like the idea too, but I didn’t. I never had been a Christmas junkie, when I was a child I liked it because I believed in Santa Clause but now I’m an adult and I don’t believe in any fairytales or bedtime stories.
“Ahm…”I knew, that Izzie was expecting, that I’d like the idea, because I told her, I’d love Christmas – I just told her because she decorated the whole house with some old Christmas stuff and George and I decided to be nice and tell her we would love Christmas. Fortunately my pager was ringing “I’m sorry – see you later” I said and walked away, I was glad that I couldn’t reply Izzie’s question.

While I was treading the patient’s room a man came out, he didn’t see me and bumped me. “I’m sorry” he directly apologized, then he recognized that the person he bumped was me “oh, Meredith”
“Don’t worry” I said and tried to smile.
“Merry Christmas” I knew that he only wanted to be nice but I didn’t like him anymore, okay, I liked him once – no, I loved him or do I still love him? However, we were together and we were happy until his wife came to Seattle and then we broke up because he decided to give his marriage a second chance so he left me. It had been two months since we broke up and it’s still hard for me to see him, I try to be cool and I try to hate him, because he made me to his affair, he made me to that girl who sleeps with a man who’s married. Oh yes, I forgot. He’s my boss and of course his wife is a doctor and works in that hospital too. Isn’t it funny?
“Merry Christmas, Derek” I answered and hoped that his pager would ring like mine a few minutes ago.
“Do you come to the Christmas party tonight?” he asked.
“I do” what a weird question I thought, Dr.Webber told us that everyone had to come so of course I would be there tonight.
“Of course” his voice was low and likely he understood what kind of weird question he asked me.
I made such weird noise like “hmhm” and looked to the patient’s room.
“Oh yeah” he mumbled “see you later – have a nice day”
“See you” before he could ask me something weird again I trod the patient’s room.

In the evening I sat on my bed and looked frustrated to my wardrobe, what am I going to wear tonight? You have to know that my wardrobe is small. Very small. Okay it isn’t but it sounds good, doesn’t it? I mean it’s a good answer when someone’s asking you why you don’t have any dresses.
“Meredith” before I could answer Izzie stood in the middle of my room.
“Izzie” I said and tried not to laugh because she wore a red nose like Rudolph the reindeer.
“What are you going to wear?” she asked.
“Seriously? I don’t know. I haven’t got any dresses because my wardrobe is too small”, I hoped that she’d believe it.
Now Izzie was trying not to laugh. Okay maybe my answer wasn’t really good but I was desperate. What am I going to wear?
“I know it isn’t Christmas yet but I was thinking that you don’t have a dress so I went to a store today and borrowed two. I wasn’t sure which of them you like”, she said and gave me two dresses.
“Izzie”; I whispered. She was my angel, my hero, she saved me! ”They’re amazing, thank you”
“Which one are you going to wear? And don’t tell me that your wardrobe is too small”, she giggled.
I stood up and looked at the two dresses. They were both amazing. One of them was dark grey with little shiny glitter on it and the other one was vanilla white. First I was supposed to take the dark grey one but then I decided to take the other one. I wanted to stop it. The dark and twisty time was over. Tonight, I promised myself, I’m going to have fun in that vanilla white dress.
“The vanilla one?” Izzie asked and smiled “I hoped that you’d take this one. Come I’ll help you with your make up and your hair”

One hour later Izzie, George, Alex and I stood once again in the lobby of the Seattle Grace Hospital. Izzie wore a beautiful blue dress and her hair was curly, George and Alex wore – of course – suits. Cristina wore a simple black dress and I was surprised that she even had a dress. And then there was me. I think I wore too much make up but Izzie told me that I’d look like a celebrity and my hair was curly too.
“Okay guys, let’s have fun” Izzie said and smiled.
“Yeah let’s go to the barman” Alex answered and went looking for some alcohol.
And then he came. McDreamy. Every woman who works at the Seattle Grace Hospital called him McDreamy. Do you want to know why? Because he was the man who every woman wants. He was a gentleman, good looking, damn sexy, charming, nice, liked children and he was a doctor! Maybe that answer your question why I’m still not over him yet and why it is so hard for me to hate him.
My heart was beating faster. He looked at me and smiled and then I saw her – she wore an elegant dark red dress, her hair was as perfect as her make up. Of course she saw me too and she smiled. I knew that she didn’t want to hurt me, but she did.
Maybe I’d better take the dark grey one I thought, then I was looking for Alex and finally I found him at the bar. He was flirting with a nurse but when I saw me, he turned around and told the barman to bring me some alcohol.
“Thanks” I said.
“Your dress looks amazing” he was my friend and I knew that he thought he could help me this way but he didn’t.
“So you and Izzie, is it over?” I asked. I don't talk very often with Alex because we’re both not that kind of people who talk a lot. Because of that McDreamy thing I missed what really happened with Izzie and Alex. I recognized that they went out and then I heard that Alex slept with Olivia and Izzie was really angry what I understand if Alex slept with Olivia while he was together Izzie but I’m not sure if they broke up before Alex slept with the nurse.
“It is – I slept with Olivia” Alex told me and drank some alcohol.
“Did you sleep with her while you were together with Izzie?” I asked
“Yes” I was shocked. Why? But I tried to be cool, it wasn’t okay what he had done but I was not only Izzie’s friend – his too.
“And you and McDreamy?” he asked.
“We broke up, didn’t you know?”
“I did but I thought I would d be nice when I ask you too” he smiled at me and then I had to laugh.

Later – I couldn’t remember how many drinks I had – I found myself on the dance floor. I danced with a guy I think I knew him from the emergency room. He seemed to be nice and he was a good dancer too.
“So you are Meredith Grey, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Yeah, is that a problem for you?”
Why did he ask? He knew exactly who I was.
“No, I was just surprised to see you here, isn’t it hard to see your ex with his wife?”
Okay that was too much. He knew my name and of course he heard about the McDreamy thing but I didn’t even know this guy. He was just a guy from the emergency room and he was asking me thing about my private life.
I stopped dancing and wanted to shout at him but then I noticed a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and I saw Derek.
“Can I help you?” he asked I didn’t know how he could know that I needed him now but I didn’t ask I was just glad to see him. The emergency room guy was disappeared.
“Thank you”
Fortunately almost everyone was dancing so nobody was watching us.
“You look “he began and it was like he was searching for the right words “like an angel”
I was staring at him. How could he say that? Okay it was Christmas but we weren’t together. He was married and I definitely wasn’t his wife.
“You look great too” that was stupid I know.

Suddenly I heard her voice. Addison’s voice. She seemed to be surprised.
“Dr.Shepherd” I said and looked at her.
“Your dress looks amazing” she said and smiled. If she weren’t Derek’s wife I’m sure we could be friends because Addison was a nice woman she tried to be nice to me even if I was the woman who was sleeping with her husband. But just so you know I didn’t know that he was married I’m not that kind of woman and Addison knew that. I hoped to.
“Thank you, yours too” I said what a stupid answer “I like your hairdo”
“Look a mistletoe” she said and I looked up. Oh God – yes! There was a mistletoe it was above Derek and mine’s head. Did she really want that we kiss each other while she was watching us? No I couldn’t. I really tried to be nice to them but that was to much, wasn’t it? I turned around and disappeared in the crowd.

“Meredith” Oh no that was Derek’s voice. Why couldn’t he leave me alone for a second?
“I’m sorry, we’re sorry. Addison loves Christmas and she wasn’t thinking when she said that” he apologized.
I turned around and looked in his face.
“It’s okay. It’s a weird situation for all of us. She’s nice and I would like her if she weren’t your wife but she is and I try to be nice. But then I see you two smiling and try to give each other a second chance I feel bad because you made me to that woman who slept with a married man. And I don’t wanna be that woman. So every time I see you two I remember that I’m the woman who slept with a married man“ I stopped and suspired “And the thing - that you try to be nice to me because we both know that you’re the bad guy not me - doesn’t make anything easier for me. So please don’t try to be my friend. Maybe in a year or two when I get over you but not now because I’m still in love with you”
“I know and the thing is that I’m only that nice to you because I want to help you. I see your sad eyes and I recognize that you don’t smile anymore. And I know that all your pain is because I hurt you. To see you falling down is breaking my heart, I want to save you but there’s Addison and I have to be there for her too. It’s that complicated and I just don’t know how I can let you go without you’re falling down”
Those words almost let my heart breaking again.
“Just let me go I won’t fall” I said and my voice was low.
“Are you sure?” I saw the sorrows in his eyes.
“I am and now go back to your wife she needs you more than I do”
That was one of the moments in my life I felt lost. Really lost. But I knew that I had done the right thing. I may not be perfect and I have my dark and twisty moments but I know that people sometimes have to decide things with their mind and not with their heart. And sometimes – mainly on Christmas – we have to make sacrifices.
 
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